Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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