You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
