We're like a lot better than the average bears
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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