I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
