you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
