Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
