This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
