i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
