I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
