Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
