We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
