a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
