JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
