If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
