Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
