We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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