I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize