Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
