Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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