Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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