i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
