Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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