I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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