Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize