Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
