69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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