Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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