It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
