Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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