We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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