Banned from zoo.
Again?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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