At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
