why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
