This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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