Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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