Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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