i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
