whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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