wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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