question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
