I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize