all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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