You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
