3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
