Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
