so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
