i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
