Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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