im drinking this country out of the recession.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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