Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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