I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
