that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
