Already got asked if we're dating
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
