Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
