Tell her she can't have a vagina
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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