I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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